REAL American® Beatitudes and Anathemas

• Blessed is my avarice: For I can build obscene monuments to my religious faith to buy a better seat in the kingdom.
• Cursed are the poor: for they are ignorant and lazy, demand affordable healthcare and unemployment benefits, and sometimes unionize which marginally raises my taxes or hurts my business’ bottom line.
• Blessed is my ignorance of the rest of the world: for it makes me arrogant.
• Cursed are the knowledgeable: for they are elitists that want to raise my millage trying to improve education

• Blessed are public schools: for they are training grounds of future professional athletes.
• Cursed are college professors: for they might actually teach my children to think critically.
• Blessed is my arrogance: for I can boast of the land I exploit without consequence.
• Cursed are the meek: for they are weak and effeminate.
• Blessed am I who mourns: for I shall get my pound of flesh through litigation.
• Cursed are they who mourn: for they are opining for my sympathy.
• Blessed am I: for I have my fill and ignore those that hunger and thirst in front of me.
• Cursed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they just want “special” rights.
• Blessed are the cruel: for they shall keep us safe with torture and vengeance exacted on our enemies.
• Cursed are the merciful: for they are probably un-American pacifists, socialists, communists, or terrorist sympathizers.
• Blessed are the Machiavellians: for they shall obtain power by false piety and demagoguery.
• Cursed are the clean of heart: for they are usually not elected.
• Blessed are the war-mongers: for, by the sword, they can bring liberty and justice to world.
• Cursed are the peacemakers: for they want submit to foreign domination and sacrifice our freedoms to our enemies or cooperative international organizations. 
• Blessed are they that suffer persecution: for they are in the majority which is ALWAYS persecuted by the minority.
• Cursed are those that suffer persecution: for they have yet to assimilate and speak English